My mom, Susan (Sue) Sher, died today of grade four primary brain cancer at age sixty-five. The cancer hit her language centers, causing her to grow more and more confused each day. She found it harder and harder to communicate, but kept talking in her indomitable, if zany, way until she stopped talking altogether.
One day, she stopped eating and drinking and taking her pills. Two days later, she stopped breathing.
That day was today. We'd all known it was coming--Mom included--but I, personally, didn't expect it to happen less than three months after she was diagnosed.
We're glad it wasn't a painful death. This kind of cancer doesn't metastasize. Hospice kept her on pain relievers, and my brother, M, and his wife, L, kept her well-cared for. In a way, she was happier during those last months than in the previous year, because she was out of pain and living in a good place.
Mom had been ready to die, too. She wasn't the kind of person to want to hang around in a half-functional state. When she was ready to go, she wanted to go. And that's what she did.
I'm happy for her, but sad for us. Yes, we'll have the memory of her wonderful, joyful, enthusiastic, life-loving, if sometimes aggravating and stubborn, presence. But I'd rather have her.
-KKP
Sunday, September 27, 2009
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5 comments:
Though I never saw Sue with such a short hairstyle, your photos remind me so much of her and her delightful personality. I loved Sue and I will miss her too. She sprinkled my life with love and laughter and I shall be forever grateful for the privilege of knowing her. I know a part of her will live on in each of you and that makes me glad. It cannot be said enough -- You were truly blessed!
Thank you, Pat! Your words mean so much, and I know you enhanced her life so much whenever you came to visit.
Although our lives divurged at the end, I did not regret a single moment of our lives. She enriched mine for more than 18 years. Without your mother, I would not have had my wonderful job at Emory, my driver's license, or the opportunity to come to Seattle/Bellingham to enjoy life there.
Yes, she was cantankerous, frustrating and compulsive, but she was mine for such a long period of time. I will miss her.
There is not a day go back that I don't see some little reminder of Sue, something that she said or that we shared or something she gave me. She just enjoyed American Idol so much and if she stayed the night we watched it together and she always voted. She was funny too even though I knew she was in pain and apologizing. She slept on my couch in seattle and was thankful for it as she was traveling all over the place and needed a place to rest, before the rest of her journey. I enjoyed her company very much.
I went to school with your mother in Oak Park, Illinois. I've been looking for her and wish I had found her sooner.
With your permission, I would like to write something up for our Class of '61 website. I would welcome your thoughts and input.
Bill Meyers
Shoreline, WA
meyerws@hotmail.com
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